How to ruin a movie for yourself.
by Anonymous
Hi! | Tired of enjoying movies? Are horror movies too stressful for you? | Action just too exciting? warning! spoilers ahead.... | Here are some helpful tips to ensure you go into a movie thoroughly spoiled. Step 1: Believe The Hype! Unreasonably high expectations virtually guarantee that you'll be disappointed by the film. Prometheus was not the greatest film since Blade Runner! Step 2: Watch as many trailers as possible! Even if they don't tell you everything that will happen... | You can still lear a lot from trailers. | Which is rare... I watched the trailer for World War Z... | ... which happens in the last 10 minutes of the film! | It showed Brad Pit in a lab. So I knew he would be safe until the lab scene... Step 3: Read articles and Watch interviews! Just remember! The more you know going into a movie... ...the less you'll learn during the movie! I can't wait to see the new Star Wars film! #HanDiesAtTheEnd Step 4: Look it up on IMDB! IMDB can tell you all sorts of information... | Like surprise cameos and alternate character names! Thanks to IMDB I knew that Kahn was the secret villian of Star Trek Into Darkness! Step 5: Look it up on Wikipedia! People love to update wikipedia with a full synopsis of every movie as soon as it comes out! Rosebud is the sled! Step 6: Read the Book! If it's based on a book, just read it! It's too bad about what happens to the dwarves at the end of The Hobbit Step 7: Check out the Toys! Toys based on the movies can reveal all sorts of character secrets! Apparently Robocop has three different body types in the new movie! Step 8: The movie Soundtrack! Not only will memorizing the soundtrack ensure you don't fall for any jump scares... | but it can also reveal plot points! The Soundtrack to The Phantom Menace has a song called "Qui Gon's Funeral"! Step 9: Internet Reviewers! You can find plenty of people on the internet who will record long rambling v-logs guaranteed to spoil every major plot point in a film! All Hail Hagan!!! Step 10: Get to the theater early enough so you can catch the end of the previous showing of the film.! Can you think of an easier way than simply watching the end of the film before you watch the beginning? If you follow these 10 simple steps you'll never have to worry about enjoying a movie ever again!
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