Montréalités Love

It was late afternoon on a crisp September day. I was standing in front of the old Forum, half a block up from St. Catherine and Atwater, waiting for a friend to emerge from the Mêtro for a quick dinner downtown. Montréal's weather was changing suddenly, as it often does between seasons, and some people were still wearing shorts and sandals, while others had found their jackets and pullovers, and even the occasional long winter coat.

A river of people burst by, it was the height of evening rush hour. Ahead, a small-framed man in a brown windbreaker sat in a wheelchair, a head full of combed-through Brylcreamed hair, holding out an empty carton coffee cup. He looked up. No one slowed, no one looked at him, he was seemingly invisible, on the edge of the stream of commuters, an object eluding collision. As the rush receded, he lowered his cup and then his gaze, and disappeared into the infinity spot, his eyes swimming about two feet ahead...gone. Then he came back, animated by a game nonchalance, he smirked, "Am I going to have to hurt somebody?"

I choked off a guffaw; I couldn't suppress that knife into the heart. What will it take to be seen, to be valued and validated...how many miles?

Nowadays I'm back at university in Montreal where, apparently, no one holds hands in public anymore. Over the past two years, I haven't seen one instance of it, not one. That is a high degree of conformity, of acquiscence, in the practice of an act that generally shows connection and affection; admittedly, it can have other motivations. I have seen a lot of texting on campus, hands clasped over the mesmeric screen, head bowed, thumbs fumbling and flying on the wings of text. Has our love affair with the little screen, on the little screen, replaced this simple act of affection? Has hand holding gone digital?

In truth, I'm not fond of the reductive 'public display of affection', or PDA, because of its emphasis on display, a thing done for show. If it's done in public, others will very likely watch, but that doesn't mean it's for display. Whether it's for or on display, in the end, "all behavior is communication".

Perhaps not-holding hands on campus is a by-product of academia's ethos; the body is there primarily to carry the head around to lecture halls and faculty meetings, or possibly, since universities are now so focused on corporate accreditation, hand holding is frowned upon just as it is in the corporate world - sours allegiance to the brand. Do your hands belong to you when you're on the job? Be that as it may, hand holding is clearly dèmodè in this, our digital revolution.

My previous articles have been an observation of sorts of love in the time of technology. My conclusion is that even with all of the new ways to communicate our love for each other, we are no better off now than we were twenty years ago. If anything, the facility has rendered us shallow with the attention spans of fruit flies.

For my fellow Montrealers, my review will be a wee bit more uplifting as I take you through the five best places to take your date in Montreal. I made it a point to go to each one of these places recently with my partner just to make sure I wasn't imagining things and thankfully (for once), I was right on the mark.

This city is positively thrumming with romantic energy, from the European charm of the Old Port to the endless selection of parks, museums, markets, cafés and shisha bars. After reading this, you'll agree that love isn't dead and Montreal's just plain hot (or something close to that). Let's get started!

Photo Credit: Kyozon Facebook page

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I've read some articles recently claiming that Crescent Street is no longer the happening place to be in Montreal. However, I disagree. Whether you love Asian-style cooking, dining out with friends, fancy dinners with your significant other, or a rocking time out Kyozon is the place to be.

As I walk into my office to begin my shift, I hear one of my colleagues excitedly say, "Well, he 'liked' my status update!" This was in answer to when our fellow colleague asked her whether a guy had called her back since their date three days ago.

He hadn't.

But this morning, he had hit "like" on her status update and this meant all was well, apparently.

As a woman who started dating back when people still used ICQ, I did not think that this was a good sign. If anything, I felt her date liked her a little bit, but not enough to actually contact her directly. His liking of her status seemed like a lazy way of reminding her of his existence and that he was vaguely interested. If he should decide to actually see her again, she would not be able to say that he hadn't kept in touch.

To avoid an angry or hysterical co-worker, I did not make my opinions known but I did (silently) ask the following question: Is this what its come to?

Are you tired of dating people that don't live up to your expectations? Of being set-up by your amateur friends? Are you afraid of what lurks behind the serial computer dater? Do you want to meet your soulmate, but don't have the time to get out there? PS i love you is the partner you've been looking for. No computers, no websites, just old fashioned matchmaking.

Image source: helpguide.org

How to date online effectively

Online dating has become a social norm with the rise of so many different websites to choose from. From eHarmony, which employs matching tactics based on interests to Tindr which is solely based on first impressions, chances are, you know at least a few people who have tried them and have perhaps met girlfriends or boyfriends this way. A decade ago, there was a sort of stigma related to meeting a potential romantic interest off the internet. This has changed dramatically with the rise of social networking and smartphones. The following guidelines might seem general but they are in fact important in order to happily explore the arena of online dating.

With Valentine's Day right around the corner, I've been thinking a lot about the dating game. I know most of you are pobably thinking "I hate Valentine's Day! No one ever asks me out!" Well don't run off in huff just yet because I've created the following how-to in order to help all you ladies who have shyed away from that mysterious classmate sitting across the aisle of your economics lecture or the gorgeous hunk you've been eyeing near the coffee machine at work.

A thousand words in one photograph, taken by Anand Roy.

At first glance, Anand Roy seems to live up to his name. His first name means joy in Sanskrit, and he certainly fits that description. Always cheerful and seemingly stress-free, he's got that knack of fitting into any situation he might find himself in. This undoubtedly comes from practice and from his ease with secrecy, which he himself will explain in better detail. I meet him at Kafein on Bishop Street, since we are both Concordia students. He has an hour to kill before he's off to his next Film Studies class. Tall and lanky, dressed in a faded hoodie along with skinny jeans, he doesn't look twenty-four years old and could easily pass for a teenager. "It's the Indian genes." he tells me cheekily as he sips on his mocha. As a fellow Indian myself, I concede he does have a point since no one ever believes me to be nearly thirty-one.

Anand is born and raised here in Montreal, of Indian origin. He is a Film Studies student, with a passion for video editing. He's an avid gamer but thankfully hasn't let it take over his entire life like a lot of his counterparts. He also happens to be gay.

Love is in the air, but how did it get there? What was the trigger to a love that's withstood the test of time?

If you've ever wondered the same here are the answers straight from the source. Lovers and partners for the last thirty years ATP (the badass war veteran) and RO (the country girl in the big city) tell all...

It's a Sunday afternoon in the suburbs of Montreal. The couple sitting across from me are cuddled up, holdings hands, relaxing. From the way she looks at him and the wry smile on the corner of his mouth I can tell theirs is a deep love story, so I ask them -