Warning! This article contains adult language.

Watching the high speed car chases or struggles for power on the silver screen fuels an interest in crime that might be latent otherwise. After watching these types of movies, and when I need to buy groceries, I stand in the checkout line thinking to myself, "These groceries are going to put me back. It would be great if I didnʼt have to buy them. What if I just walked out of here without paying?" Iʼve always paid. Iʼve never gathered the strength to walk out. Though each time I pay, I can envision the exciting life I would lead if I hadnʼt.

The thought starts with the groceries, than eventually it leads to driving as fast as I can on a desert road in a flat-black 1969 dodge charger while shooting at the cops chasing me. I say this to show that, minor offenses aside, I know nothing about real crime.

Both my parents work for Prison Fellowship, which is an organization that tries to spread the message of God throughout prisons, because of this, my childhood house always had a couple more places set at our dinner table for an ex-convict or two. They sit and talk with us about how hard it is to get over drugs, or how much the miss the rush of their old life. In one particular instance, during one of his many visits to our house, I asked one in particular if I could hear his story of how he made it into the big time of crime. He agreed.

DHN: Let's see, the first memory of Ma was Ma holding a- grabbing my hair and holding a knife to my throat at about four. Telling me she was going to cut my head off. Thinking that's normal. Um, she used to throw knives at me. I was the best dodgeball player on earth. Hehehehe. (pause) Than I moved onto getting kicked out of school in grade kindergarden, because I wasn't paying attention in class, the teacher asked me what her name was, and she asked me again, and I told her her name was Miss Fuckface, and I was asked to leave the school.

J.D.: You serious in kindergarten? You said Miss Fuckface?

DHN: Miss Fuckface. Ya.

J.D.: Miss Fuckface. Not Mrs? She didn't have a Mr. Fuckface at home?

DHN: No. Well, I don't know. That was my name for her. (pause) I think I started

stealing in grade 2. It started as a joke, going in to see if I could steal a bag of Caramilk bars.

J.D.: Ya?

DHN: Ya, a bag of Caramilk bars. I scooped it, got away with it, and I was like "Cool" cause I was all nervous eh. When I got away with it, it was a rush. So I got hooked on the rush. And, as I grew older the more- the larger the thing I stole, the more value that was on the object, or whatever, the bigger the rush. So I started breaking into safes.

J.D.: You still with your mom at this point?

DHN: No. I moved outta the house at 15 cause I couldn't handle it. I was getting drunk everyday at 12 or 13 just to go home to deal with the bullshit.

J.D.: Must have been pretty heavy.

DHN: Ya. I would come home from school, "What's for supper ma?". "Whatever the fuck your cooking yourself". Hehehehe

J.D.: Holy.

DHN: So, that was the life and times of me when I was a kid. J.D.: Where is your dad in this?

DHN: Either at work or sitting on the couch watching TV. J.D.: He never tried to intervene?

DHN: No. I got whipped with electrical chords. Cigarettes put out in my face. Knifes thrown at me, various objects. Cans of soup, like full cans of soup.

J.D.: That was the both of them? DHN: Just my mom.

J.D.: Just your mom? Your dad was just passi- DHN: He docilely sat there till I flipped out. J.D.: He's kind of an asshole.

DHN: That sorta ended at 13, that's when I was too big. She pulled a knife, threatened to stab me. I took the knife from her, threw it into the wall. Picked her up, carried her to her room. Threw her on her bed and said, "Don't ever pull a knife on me again or I'll stick it in you."

J.D.: Ya, no shit.

DHN: And that ended that ordeal, but I got a licking when my dad came home . . . a good licking. (impersonating his father) "Take it like a man son!" "Screw you" (makes sound of fast wind) Hehehehehe. Catch me if you can't. Hehehehehe. (pause) Than when I hit 15 the reason I moved out cause I was, uh, I screwed my knee up. I was working.

J.D.: Where were you working?

DHN: I was a short order cook at the Happy Wanderer restaurant in Niagara Falls.

J.D.: Happy Wanderer.

DHN: German food. And uh, I blew out my knee. I was smoking pot. My mom ratted me out to the doctor that I was doing drugs. So the doctor refused to give me pain killers for the knee.

J.D.: Cause of pot?

DHN: Cause of pot. My knee was like a football. So, I knew some people in Niagara Falls New York that were doing angel dust. So I did a rail of that and I was doing cartwheels. I couldn't feel shit right, it was all good. When I came home one night after doing my stint of dust my dad was waiting up and said, "Where the fuck were you?", "Well I was out partying. What do you think". Well, than he punched me. Can't remember where, but it didn't hurt and I laughed. He took that the wrong way and started punching me in the face. So I came off with - I don't know what you call it, that shot - up and down? (demonstrates)

J.D.: A Haymaker.

DHN: And I caught him right in the horn and broke his nose right. And then I went

"Oh fuck", cause he was 3 times the size of me. I was just 15. I was a kid. So I booked it, and never went home after that right. Hehehehe. (pause) Moved in with my cousin for a while, that was a party, 27 years old. I was going to strip bars at 15 and shit.

J.D.: Oh, your cousin was 27? DHN: He was 27. I was 15.

J.D.: Must have been an old looking 15 year old.

DHN: I had to shave. J.D.: Really?

DHN: Yep. So, I was going to strip bars and all that. By the time I hit 19 strip bars were boring. Seen 'em all. I didn't even reach legal age to go out.

J.D.: You were saying, "fuck tits I've seen 'em all",

DHN: Ya they're all the same, their all pink in the middle. Hehehehehe. Somehow, when I was living on my own, I was still staying in school. I managed to stay in school.

J.D.: On your own accord?

DHN: Yep. And I was robbing motel offices, like um, without them knowing it, at 15. So I was stealing all their money and they didn't even know I was stealing it. I never got caught. I had a trick I used to do. It took them a long time It took them like 5 years to catch me. So I kept myself alive that way for 5 years. I earned more money than my father at 15. I took home more money than he did.

J.D.: What did your dad do?

DHN: He worked for the city. So he was making good money. But I made better money. Hehehehe. I was selling dope and all that stuff right.

J.D.: It's a hard job selling dope because a lot of people seem to be doing it. DHN: Well in high school it was easy. I was rolling. I had 3 or 4 girls that I used to sit with on the bus on my way to school. They would keep an eye out while I was rolling doobies on the way to school to sell.

J.D.: So you were a ladies man even then?

DHN: Ya, and I would be like, "Here girls, here's your doobie for keeping six", and give each a joint. Than I would get really good pot, and I would end up skipping school and going - I was going to a catholic school in grade 9 - so I would skip school and go to the canal bank with some girl. Instead of going to school I said, "fuck school".

J.D.: And go out necking, why not.

DHN: So we would go to the canal band and party. Drink beer and smoking. It was all good.

J.D.: Doesn't sounds so bad.

DHN: I was doing bumps. I was doing acid. I had a list of drugs I wanted to try at 15.

J.D.: You did the acid.

DHN: I was doing acid at 14. J.D.: That's intense.

DHN: Dust, speed, And all this other shit right. Robbing hotel rooms. J.D.: Robbing hotel rooms?

DHN: Well not the rooms but the offices. And they never caught me. I got one and uh, I was 15 I ripped off about 25 hundred dollars cash. This was in 1980. So now it would be like, huge right. When I 18 I ripped off a place for 10 thousand cash. That turned into a 2 week party extravaganza in Toronto. That was a lot of fun. I started at the Royal York; got kicked out of the Royal York. Went to the Harvard Castle; got kicked out of the Harvard Castle. Went to the Sheraton; got kicked out of the Sheraton.

J.D.: Holy shit you must have been- you were a rupple rouser.

DHN: Ya I even puked in the elevator and everything right. We had one bar we used to go to first thing in the morning, I had a wicked hangover. It was called the Mug. I would go in there, and the girl knew me so well she would grab me a giant- it was called a mug cause it was a giant mug of beer size of a pitcher, and three shots of Gran Marnier. That was breakfast. Either that or a half a 40 of jack daniels. Hehehehe.

J.D.: You know Jack Daniel's well enough to call him Jimmy.

DHN: Ya, so that was that one. I was seeing a girl and my liquor there ended that.

J.D.: What girl were you seeing?

DHN: I was going with her for 3 years. I started when I was 16, she was 19. So she taught me lots. The 3 year difference was big back when you're 16 and she's 19, that's huge right.

J.D.: I've had something like that.

DHN: Ya they teach you all kinds a neat tricks, so you can try it out on the new girls. Ya I learned lots. I learned how to handle a thing or two at a young age. When I was younger I would go with older girls, and now that I'm older I go with younger girls. About 10-12 years younger than I am. Just so they can keep up. Hehehehehe. J.D.: You're a dog.

DHN: Ya, I never did anytime till I was 21 years old. I managed to duck and dive the legal system till I was 21. At 21 I got my first sentence of 7 months. Cakewalk.

J.D.: What did you do for the 7 months?

DHN: I had 13 charges. I got silly. I got too drunk, and I did 15 B&E's in one night. I got caught on the last one. They couldn't prove all the other ones, but they knew it was me right. So I ended up getting 7 months on one B&E or some shit like that, can't remember. So I did that, got out, started hanging out with the crazy fuckers I met in jail. I remember stealing, when I was 14 or 15 we stole 3 cars, and we went into a field and played smash up derbie with stolen cars. It was fucking fun. When the cops show up we all bail and run. We all get away. It was fun man. Especially when the cops show up, "The cops are here. Run away!" We all looked like the coyote and the roadrunner. You just saw this blur. Shoo. Gone. Big blurs running down the road. (pause) When we used to smuggle booze from the States to Canada, we would go to the States and get booze for - a 60 pounder for 13 bucks. In Canada it was 50 bucks or some shit, something crazy. So we would go over there and buy the booze. Over by the Rainbow Bridge there's land that goes underneath a road, before you get to the sights. We would have a guy there with a jacket catching the bottles. We dropped it, doop, so we did the same with drugs. Big duffle bag, big bags of dope, and throw it over the side. Dope from the States, we would drop it over the side and then sell it. We got away with it too for a long time. They finally they caught a guy, not us, but they caught someone doing it. He went down for it. So we can't do that no more. It was fun while it lasted.

J.D.: How did you guys figure out who was doing what, that one guy got caught for doing that? Did the word spread?

DHN: I think the word spread on the bottle thing, cause we kind of let people know, but we didn't tell anyone about the dope right. So I think the word spread on that. I know people started doing other shit and one guy got pinched, I don't know what he got pinched for, if it was dope or - not sure, but he got pinched dumping something over the side and another guy catching it. So now they got camera surveillance all over that. So can't do it no more. Back then you could get away with it. You could cross the train bridge into the States, drop onto the train and take the train across.

J.D.: Seems like you guys had a tight community.

DHN: Ya, it was easy. I had buddies in the States. I seen a guy get shot right in the face when I was 15 with a 12 gauge.

J.D.: Why?

DHN: We were sitting there partying on the porch. Me and another guy - I don't know there were 4 our 5 of us, mostly Americans. I got in with them I brought in a case of Blue, Labatt, cause they were drinking that frigin' pony piss. American beer eh. I was like, "This ain't fucking beer. I've drank 20 beers and I'm still walking. Nay." So I thought I'll take care of this. So I go in there with a 2/4 of Blue, "Hey check this out". My buddy drank 3 beer and was catching a buzz and was like, "Holy fuck that was good beer" and I was like "Ya that's real beer buddy. You got good beer". It was cool man.

J.D.: Ya, so why did your buddy get shot?

DHN: Oh! The guy next door, wasn't our friend it was just a neighbor. All's I hear is "Don't shoot me baby", this black guy right, and we hear this gunshot. Bang! And everyone runs, it's fucked up over there, everyone runs outside with a weapon: Nunchuks, fuckin' machetes, guns, whatever right, to see what's going on. In the States it's weird. We all go out, we're watching, and this guy comes barreling onto the floor, and he's yelling at her again, "Don't shoot me baby!" He falls and she walks out and shoots in the face with a 12 gauge. She winged him, he fell, than she shot him in the face. She stood over his body with a smoking gun till the cops showed up. Hehehehe. Than the cops show up, everybody's got weapons behind their back hidden away from the scene, they ditch the weapons and then come back out without the weapons. It took them a half hour to get there for this. Half hour for the cops to get there after someone got shot in the face with a 12 gauge.

J.D.: Where was this?

DHN: Niagara Falls New York. I used to go over there drinking all the time. They had a drink and drown and a late show. Girls paid 4 bucks or 4.50. Guys paid 6 or 6.50. Canadian money accepted at par. They stamp your hand, give you an empty glass and it's bottomless. How can you go wrong? Hehehehehe. One night I drop two hits of acid, go in, and I'm fuckin' just pounding them right. Then I went to another drink and drown party, and I was drinking large there, and I couldn't find the bridge. I could only see 10 feet cause I was so hammered. So my buddy had to escort me to the bridge, like onto the bridge. I'm looking and I'm like, "Where's the bridge?" He said, "just go straight". I look up and I see the girders and go, "Oh, right on dude!" Hehehe. I get to the other side and the customs guy is like, "Citizenship?" - "Fucking Canadian Eh!" He goes, "Keep going".

J.D.: That was at 15 or 16? DHN: About 15 ya.

J.D.: Was it 17 you got the 7 month sentence?

DHN: No at 21. Took me until 21 till I got put in jail. I got probation when I was 17 for 18 months. I made it through that.

J.D.: Where was your first time?

DHN: Fort Detention Center. The next time I got pinched I got, I think I got 10 months or something. Than I ended up getting shipped to - oh no I didn't get shipped. Than I went to Burtch Correctional Centre.

J.D.: For stealing?

DHN: Ya. B&E's, thefts, little bit of violence, assault, reference charges, shit like that. Nothing major. They caught me for the bullshit, I got away with all the good stuff. Hehehehe. They caught me for the partying afterwards. So I finished going all that crap, I moved to London. I tried to go on the straight and narrow in about '89.

J.D.: Why?

DHN: I got tired of doing time. I did 2 1/2 years out of 3 in jail and I said, "fuck this, it's a losing battle. Let's try something else." So I picked up my high school diploma while I was in the joint, in Burtch Correctional Centre. I applied to Humber College, Fanshawe College, and George Brown College. Got accepted at all three. Chose Fanshaw cause the cost of living is cheaper in London than it is in Toronto, by far. So I moved to London and completed a 2 year course as a technician, and I graduated. Worked in the services as a service technician. For 2 years, maybe 2 1/2 years. I got really hammered, at my grad, and I blacked out, did a B&E, got pinched.

J.D.: You blacked out than did a B&E?

DHN: Ya I don't remember doing it. I woke up in a cell. I came to in a cruiser for a second, than when I came to in the cell I asked myself 'what the fuck did I do?'

J.D.: Must be freaky to know that the very base of you can do that.

DHN: I felt it. I felt it coming. I was trying to bail out of the party. No phone. So I said, "Where's the nearest phone", and I was heading towards the phone. The next thing I knew I was in a prison cell.

J.D.: That's kind of creepy. To know that if you black out you'll do a B&E. When I black out and I pass out.

DHN: I've never passed out or puked. I never got sick or nothing, I would just go out and do something stupid. Punch someone out or stab them, whatever, anything: Shoot somebody. Stab somebody. Rob somebody. Anything. So I got scared when I felt it coming I tried to go home.

J.D.: What stopped you?

DHN: No phone. I was trying to call a cab. Hehehehehe.

J.D.: (impersonation) Damn you why don't we have cellphones yet.

DHN: So I ended up getting a - I had a buddy of mine in London who owned a tow truck company who wrote me a job letter. Than I had another buddy that was doing designated driving, free limo service for drunk drivers, he told me I was doing that for him so I had a job as leverage, submit it into the courts. I beat the system and got out of jail in 2 weeks on a 9 month sentence. I was out 2 weeks later in a halfway house, and of course you get parole. Than I fucked the parole up, yadda yadda, and was in jail some more.

J.D.: How did you fuck up the parole? Old habits? B&E's, drugs.

DHN: Ya. And then when I went in I got shipped. Oh ya, I had charges in Niagra Falls. I punched a guy out in a bar. Broke three ribs. Broke his cheekbone. Broke his jaw. Broke his nose. Fucked him right up. Ya, and, I got charged for that right. Assult, common battery right.

J.D.: I guess you were a scrapper for a while.

DHN: Ya. So I go back there, they ship me from London bucket end up in the

Toronto East on a long weekend. So I got stuck there for 2 weeks red bagged. So I can't get access. I've got three cartons of smokes and a bunch of canteen money and it's locked up in a bag, and I'm transfered. I'm getting pissed eh. And the East is fucked up back then, it's about '90 . . . '91 I think?

J.D.: How old are ya then?

DHN: Uhh . . . I don't know (whispered numbers) 27? Something in there. Late

20s right.

J.D.: Wanna take a smoke break?

DHN: Ya okay . . . This is funny. You're going to laugh at this one. J.D.: I think so

CUT (Smoke Break)

DHN: Okay where was I? J.D.: Toronto East.

DHN: I'm in Toronto East I'm red bagged, bla bla bla tripping on a couple of wounds. Wanting to get home, back to Niagara. I try to get a phone so I can get money, cause I'm stuck there 2 weeks so I can buy a canteen cause I'm redbagged and I can't get money. Three days go by, during which time an illiterate Jamaican fella had me help him write a letter to his buddy in the pen. So I asked him what he wanted to say in the letter, and then we became friends. Than the Jamaicans were hogging the phones, I was waiting three days. Finally someone hung up the phone, actually put it on the cradle. I grabbed it, made a call to my old lady tell her, "Listen, bring me money to the Toronto East right fucking now cause I need cigarettes now." So while that's happening,

I'm yaking to her and all of a sudden this guy comes up, "Yo man that's my phone man". So I whisper to the old lady, "Hang on, I gotta take care of something." So I go, "here buddy here's your phone man, sorry about that dude." He got close enough I clocked him in the chicklets, took his teeth out, threw him on the ground, wrapped the chord around his neck, gave him three shots in the face, kicked him in the ass and said, "Yo, it's mine now fuck you." Hehehehe. With marks from the chord on his neck hey. Hehehehehehe. This goes down right, so I get back on the phone with the old lady. Hey ya, I took care of that fuckhead, he's done. In about 10 seconds it was finished right. Than I look over and then I see 5 of them conjugated with pencils. So I go, "Oh baby, this don't look good. I think I'm going to be Shish Kabobed." Hehehehehe. You know?

So fuckin' ah, now it's fuckin' fuck it right, and I go, "Hang on if I don't come back I'm Shish Kabobed, in the hospital or dead." So I drop the phone. Than I fuckin' stepped up and go, "Okay come on motherfuckers lets rock, I ain't taking your shit no more." Well the Jamaican guy I helped just finished doing a bit in Collins Bay, which is a rough pen back home. Gladiator school was the nickname of it.

J.D.: What?

DHN: People are shanking each other with swords and shit, homemade swords. J.D.: Gladiator School.

DHN: Ya Gladiator School, that's what they called it right. So he comes up beside

me and then my roommate, this french guy, R--- R----, I still remember his name. And he goes, "Ah, kill the nigger. I get them. I kill them all." He's just howling. So now there's 3 on 5, well the odds weren't good for them now so they back off. So I'm saved. I'm like, "fucking cool." Then one of the guy comes up and hands me a smoke. Then I'm like, "Well fuck me, if all I had to do was punch one of you fucks in for a cigarette I would

have done it 3 days ago." Hehehehehehe. (pause) So I finally get shipped to Niagara. I get there and I get hooked into the kitchen. I bump into this dude, something of a crime family in Toronto. We start negotiating and talking, I think he's full of shit I don't know for sure. So I get out, and low and behold he shows up at my house. He's got a stack of

50s on him. He hands me a 50 dollar bill, and I go, "Cool man, I'll go buy a couple more boxes of beer and party it up, I got steaks on the barbie." He takes it back and burn it. I go, "What are you doing? That's good money buddy". He goes, "Ain't real, it's counterfeit. Here's 8 grand this is what I want for it." So I take the 8 grand, flip it, make money off of that. I take a key (kilo) of hash, flip it, make money off of that. I take a quarter pound of coke, flip that, make money off of that. All in one shot. And a quarter pound of oil. One road trip I made about 8 thousand dollars cash in about 4 1/2 hours.

J.D.: That's incredible

DHN: Ya, in the pocket. All of it was on the cuff. I didn't pay for shit. They hand me a bunch of shit. They hand me a .32 browning, A clip, and another clip full and said, "Away you go. If anyone gives you trouble shoot them." I go, "okay". Hehehehehe.

J.D.: What's going through your head at this time?

DHN: Cool. Hehehehehe. I go, "Right on I hit the big time on crime." So I made- in 2 1/2 months I earned 60 thousand cash. Real money. Plus - that was put away - all the expenses were paid for. Plus this. Plus that. Like, go to a bar - we went to Rasputin's in Toronto, Russian owned bar, sit down and "Hey boy how are you, bring vodka." We sit down drink and drink, we're playing cards, and we got girls under the table giving us head while we're playing cards. Hehehehehehehe.

J.D.: Holy shit.

DHN: "Which girl you want, take home." Hehehehe, I wanna take that one. Ya so fringe benefits right, shit like that. Throwing shit at you. They go, "here here here", everything was free. I could have made a phone call and had your house blown up. It was that cool right. I felt like Al - like Scarface or some shit. Al Capone.

J.D.: Probably dressed to the 9's.

DHN: Oh ya: suit, 3 1/4 inch trench coat, another trench, briefcase, short hair cut, tie. I looked like a business man. I was, but it was the wrong kind of business. Hehehehehe. Meanwhile the cops are taking pictures of everything. At the end of this they did a background checks on my grandparents, my parents, my sister, what kind of money they spent at the store. (impersonating cop) "What they spend a 50? Give it." And then they'd check it to see if it was real or not. All this shit going down.

J.D.: Why your grandparents?

DHN: Well they were looking for Mafia ties back home. Italy right. Cause my grandparents are from Italy. They thought I had ties to Italy, and the mafia, cause I was involved in this. Cause I got pinched in- um, that bank robber guy I was telling you about earlier?

J.D.: Ya.

DHN: I don't wanna mention a name but anyway. Well, that guy was hooked into our crew. There was 11 of us. And we were charged with conspiracy to possess counterfeit currency. And I go, "What you make that fucking up?" Planning to possess? I think you just made it up. J.D.: It sounds made up

DHN: They did make it up. I ended up getting a 4 in 1 sentence of all of this. And it took them 3 years to go to court. And it was a black cloud over me for fucking 3 years. I was under surveillance. 52 cops were on our case for 2 or 3 years. They had a task force on us, especially for the drugs. Late 20s.

J.D.: Late 20s.

DHN: Yep. This was in the '90s, this was like '91, '92, '93. J.D.: Were you still doing business?

DHN: Oh ya. I was under surveillance. I would go in the front door, jump out the back window. I had a car in another girls name, not my old lady, but another girl. I was always seeing like 3 of them. So I had my old lady and I had my 2 girlfriends. So I had it in her name, parked it in a church parking lot. So I would: go in the front door, jump out the back window, jump over the fence, jump in the other car, do my business real quick, jump back into the window, cook the kid's breakfast. Then when I read my disclosure it says, 'target bla bla bla, seen entering the house at this time. Target bla bla bla, seen leaving home at this time'. Meanwhile there's this big 12 hour gap. I'm like, "Ya!" It was fun, just fucking with them was fun.

J.D.: So that's how you got into the big time? DHN: Ya, that's how I got into that stuff.

J.D.: Just some guy?

DHN: Ya, just bumped into him. Well, we knew the same people. Just cause - well we knew the same people. Than we clicked and we got into stealing 60 foot trailers full of shit - electronics - those transport semi-rigs full, steal them, and we would sell them off- we would have them sold before we took them.

J.D.: How would you steal them?

DHN: We would steal the rig, or you go to a truck-stop and wait till they go into eat, jack it, hotwire the fucker and drive away. Hehehehe. They caught me with a GPS with the last one I did. Did 18 months in Remand. I beat it on the charges. Hehehehehe. J.D.: Ya you got the . . . like you were saying.

DHN: Gotta learn how to fuck with the system, early. Learn how to manipulate it so I got minimal time. Do a crime so I got minimal time, and I always got minimal time.